Open Heart: Gentle Self-Compassion for Everyday Life
Many of us are kind to others but hard on ourselves. What self-compassion is, and simple ways to practise it, with two hours of golden sand dune music.
Imagine a friend comes to you upset. They made a mistake at work, or snapped at their child, or feel they've let someone down. What would you say?
Probably something kind: Everyone makes mistakes. You're doing your best. Be gentle with yourself.
Now think about what you say to yourself in the same situation. For many of us, it's much harsher.
Self-compassion is the practice of offering yourself the same kindness you'd offer a good friend.
What self-compassion is (and isn't)
Self-compassion is:
- Noticing when you're struggling.
- Remembering that everyone struggles sometimes; you're not alone.
- Responding to yourself with warmth instead of criticism.
Self-compassion isn't:
- Making excuses or avoiding responsibility.
- Feeling sorry for yourself.
- Being lazy or letting yourself off the hook.
In fact, people who are kinder to themselves often find it easier to learn from mistakes and try again.
Simple ways to practise
1. Notice your inner voice. Over the next few days, pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Is it kind? Harsh? Would you speak to a friend that way?
2. Use a friend's words. When you notice self-criticism, ask: What would I say to a friend right now? Then say that to yourself.
3. A hand on your heart. When you're struggling, place a hand on your chest. Feel its warmth. Take a slow breath. It's a small, physical way of offering yourself comfort.
4. Three kind sentences. In hard moments, try:
- This is hard right now.
- Other people feel this way too.
- May I be kind to myself.
Change the words to ones that feel natural to you.
5. Meet your needs. Self-compassion is also practical. Are you hungry, tired, lonely or overwhelmed? What would help? A meal, a rest, a call, a walk?
When it feels strange
If you're used to being hard on yourself, kindness can feel awkward or even uncomfortable at first. That's normal. Keep practising gently. It gets easier.
Open your heart with warm light
Our new two-hour video Open Heart shows golden sand dunes glowing in warm sunset light, with soft, healing music for self-love and calm:
Play it on a gentle evening, put a hand on your heart, and breathe.
When you need more support
If your self-criticism is very strong, or you often feel worthless or hopeless, please talk to a doctor or counsellor. You deserve support and kindness, from others and from yourself.
In closing
Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Notice your inner voice, use a friend's words, rest a hand on your heart, and meet your own needs. An open heart includes room for you.
You might also like Looking Back with Kindness: Gentle Intentions for the New Year.
Ethnoscape Media shares content for relaxation, inspiration and general information. It is not medical or psychological advice. Please talk to a qualified professional about your health.